Since before I can remember, I aspired to make the world my classroom; from traveling to living abroad in an entirely different place than my home country. The moment I stepped off the plane to my temporary home for four months, I felt a weight fall off my shoulders and a new one take its place. Sure, I was freed from the limitations of working my two jobs and my internship among other things, however, the panic of being in a new city took over this responsibility, in addition to the anxiousness that revolves around being on my own for the first time. For context, I am a first-generation college student and even the thought of studying abroad was not possible for my earlier family members.
Now that I am in Rome, I look back on this initial uneasiness with a reassuring smile. Little did I know three months ago, I would do just fine. They say college prepares you for real life, I argue that college IS real life. Through studying abroad in Rome, I have gone through so many firsts that many encounter in their adulthood. My first time grocery shopping for myself, hanging my clothes to dry, my first aperol spritz, and most of all, my first time living away from my immediate family. I welcomed all the challenges I experienced during my time in Rome with open arms as they have shaped me into the version of myself, I am today. In this new space, I have changed mentally, physically, and even spiritually.
Touching on the good of my experiences here, my favorite part would have to be the proximity of other countries to Rome. Prior to my time abroad, I have never left the United States. Now, I have France, the United Kingdom, Netherlands, Germany, Monaco, Italy, Spain, and Denmark under my belt. Embracing the Euro-traveler lifestyle has opened my eyes to the many beauties that exist in the world beyond my comprehension and understanding. Turning my Pinterest board into a reality is a blessing and privilege that I do not take for granted. Venturing outside of Rome is amazing, but living in Rome is even better. I have been given the opportunity to immerse myself in Italian culture on numerous occasions. Through Temple Rome, I have been able to cook pasta from scratch at a cooking class, volunteer at a soup kitchen, and meet so many local Italians. It is important to me that I am not just a tourist who takes away from the space I am occupying, instead, I want to contribute to it any way I can. As the time I have here counts down, I am already feeling the premature depression that will extend for the rest of my time here and for many months after I return from Italy. How is it that I am already mourning the loss of something that has not happened yet? That would be because Europe is just that great for me. I genuinely feel like Europe could potentially be a forever home for me one day.
At the risk of killing the mood, I do want to mention for those reading this or any young student wanting to study abroad that the experience is not always peaches and rainbows. For starters, as a Black woman, I already had my thoughts about how I would be perceived or accepted into Italian society. I was under the impression that though times change, many Italians are still exposed to a very “conservative” way of living and thinking in regard to Black people. While I have not been assaulted in any way, I have experienced a few microaggressions that put a sour taste in my mouth. For instance, my first week in Rome I went to a restaurant with a few friends, me being the only black person present. A waiter purposely skipped over me when passing out menus and made intense eye contact once he finally handed mine to me. To make matters worse, our waiter was changed immediately after this exchange, almost as if the waiter could not stand to serve me any longer. This was such a passive encounter that my other peers did not notice, and one that I cannot forget. These silent messages of dislike seemed to amplify from that day on through the consistent staring I experience and the recording of me on people’s cell phones. I know, I know, staring is a “pastime” for Italians, and it is usually out of curiosity and boredom. At times, some of the stares did feel like basic people watching but there is no mistaking the more intense ones I have received. It is almost like the locals were yelling at me to leave their sight and Rome as a whole with just their eyes. I will never know exactly what these people were thinking but I can make very accurate guesses. Staring is not just a pastime if it is at the expense of someone else’s discomfort.
Another factor to consider when studying abroad is expenses. I will admit that I have not been the most frugal with my money, justifying a load of my purchases with the famous “I deserve it” declaration. While I do deserve it, I unfortunately do not have as much money as I would wish. I am so used to having a steady income through my employment back in the U.S., but here I am unemployed, and my account will only decline rather than be replenished by biweekly checks. I definitely wish I had budgeted a bit more, but I also have no regrets about all the purchases I made that made me happy. All I can do now is finish out this semester strongly and vow to make up for these funds once I return to work at home.
Leaving things on a more positive note, I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to study abroad in Rome. I will never be 21, traveling from country to country with only a backpack in Europe ever again. My time in Rome has opened so many doors for me in a multitude of ways. I have learned more about myself in three months than I have in years back home due to me taking the leap to leave the confinement of my hometown. I will never forget all of the memories and experiences I have been able to embark on. Study abroad has been one of the most pivotal moments of my life and has shaped me into the woman I have always dreamed of becoming. There is still more work to be done, but for now, I am entirely committed to the idea that my time in Rome has been evolutionary for me and the me that’s to come.